Tuesday, August 19, 2008

This is something I came across online-

"Taking advantage of the intrinsic romance in cute things obviously depends upon recognizing which things are cute. The rule is simple. Small things are cute. If you see a food product in a grocery store that comes in a smaller package than usual, get it, because there's a very good chance it's cute. The same goes for travel size shampoo, toothpaste, and so on. Find a store that sells doll house stuff, and your supply of cute things can be limitless."

Now, I can TOTALLY vouch for the verity of this. I am 5 ft. tall. Maybe an inch shorter or taller, but 5's a nice rounded number. Whichever way, I am small. And I'm perfectly fine with it. However, everything has it's flipside. Because I am small, I am considered cute. Animated furry animal kind of cute. Pink ribbons and frilly skirts kind of cute. Have-fun-safely kind of cute.

These are the kind of things that make me suffer-

1) A conversation:

x- “I hate her, she’s so nyaka.”

Me- “Umm…yeah she is, but then she’s a good person.”

x- “YOU'RE too sweet, you love everyone, so shut up.”

Me- “I DON’T love everyone.”

x-“ Name one person you hate.”

Me- “I don’t believe in hate, that’s all.”

x- “HAHA. See?”

Me- "Oh wait, there's ____."

x- "Oh don't exert yourself, it's a good thing to be nice."

2) A compliment:

My friends call me photogenic. They say- “Anushka, you have no reason to hate the camera, you always look adorable in photos.” Occasionally, the statement DOES vary. ‘Adorable’ may be replaced by ‘cute’ or ‘sweet’; or if I’m lucky, it could be preceded by a ‘really’. And yeah, that’s about it.

So it’s not in my fates to by called pretty. But what about ‘intelligent’? There was this debate that I thought went off rather well for me. So somewhat smugly, I asked a friend how I did. He replied- "When a small, sweet girl goes up on stage and speaks well, people are always bowled over." I nearly strangled him. But then I realised he wasn't fully to blame. When I needed to adjust the mic height for a full minute, the auditorium postively BUZZED with unspoken 'awwww's. I suppose they got to him. 'Awwwww'ful, I know.

3) Event Beyond Nomenclature

But this reached the limits yesterday. When I went to bed, I suddenly discovered an ant on my arm. I brushed it off, but then I felt a weird tickling sensation all over me. And soon, it wasn’t as much tickling as viciously smarting. Yes! There were ants all over me. For NO reason. In case you’re wondering, I hadn’t dropped food on my clothes. The ants have discovered that I am sweet. And I am now in mortal danger. This is my second nasty experience with a primitive life-form within the past week. If I wasn’t so sweet, I’d have them all exterminated.

10 beep/s:

kd said...

and you didnt believe me.should i upload a pic with you dressed up as bubbles,with baby blue ribbons just to take it a step further?

Death On Two Legs said...

Haha. No.

Doubletake, Doublethink. said...

salma hayek is exactly five feet tall. what do you call her, then?

(I'm trying not to go 'awwww' at the post :D)

Death On Two Legs said...

Hehehe. Hopefully we'll both get to do some awwwwing today.

cry freedom said...

i went awwwww exactly twelve times. you must be smothered by the sugar by now.

adt said...

i remember having that x conversation with you in class ten. other people do it too? i'm with them. till the end.

i hope most of the things you said in the build up perturb you more than the 'grand' climax....i mean. ants.

Death On Two Legs said...

Maybe the ants perturb me more, but the build-up is definitely more annoying.

And yeah.... I remember that conversation in class 10. Sheesh.

azuria said...

kawaiiiiiii post!!!

VelocityGirl (tm) said...

I hope you know you are pure evil. Sweet is a different matter.
Oh, and which debate was this?

Death On Two Legs said...

Don Bosco. It wasn't big-ears who said that to me, no worries.