Saturday, September 13, 2008

24 hours is NOT enough for a day

How am I expected to study when the fates are against it? The fates themselves. Otherwise, events like the following would NOT occur-

I'm sitting in front of my textbook, trying to take a peek inside the covers but not daring to. Suddenly I burst out-
"There is just ONE person in the world who understands me. JUST the one."

Piku (my brother): Who, Dubby?

Me: NO. My hairbrush. But who on earth is Dubby?

Piku: My friend's pencil box. It's pink, blue and yellow. It has a smiley on it. And dangling from it's right corner is a furry ball with a pawprint.

Me: Just get out of here before I throw something at you.

After a while, I receive a phone call.

Radhika: Listen, I spoke to the school authorities. Voice (the public speaking club) and Jam (the music club) may have to merge their respective fests.

Me: Ok, then we'll call it Voice 'cos it could stand for music OR speaking.

Radhika: Oh really? Well, JAM also stands for Just a Minute, which is related to speaking. So let's call it JAM.

Me: I know, we'll call it VAM! As in KAPOW!

Radhika: I think we should stick to discussing the format.

Me: Hmm, that's a safer alternative. Let's have one event that involves music AND public speaking.

Radhika: We could have a singing ham! We'll call it S.HAM. (Pronounced sham.)

Me: Wow, that's even punny! But here's a better one... Ham Sing. It sounds like a North Indian Indipop star turned wrestler turned corrupt politician.

Radhika: HEY, do you plan to have Spin a Yarn?

Me: Yes, why?

Radhika: Spin a Gaan....

Me: Ummm... you know what? I think I should get to studying now.

Radhika: Yeah me too.

No sooner had I put down the phone than I received another call.
Hardly had I put down the phone when I received another call.
It was just after I put down the phone that I received another call.
No matter what your grammatical preferences are, you will be forced to comprehend one basic fact-the phone rang yet again. And I answered it.

Let's call the friend Priya.

Priya: Achha, if someone messages you goodnight EVERY night, is that a sign?

Me: Ooooh... every night now is it? What do you say, 'dream of me' ?

Priya: Hell no. Wonder what he'd say to that...

Me: Maybe he'd say.. (I assume a low, husky tone) "Priya, you don't need to tell me to do that."

Priya: *chuckles*

Me: If I was a man, I'd be very charming. Few men I know can flirt well.

Priya: I think the yolk of the egg you were born out of was tinged with vodka.

Me: But Priya, I wasn't born out of an egg. Not the shell-and-yolk kind anyway.

Priya: But tell me, have YOU ever dreamt of ____ ?

Me: Not recently. I MEAN, NO NO, I HAVEN'T.

Priya: OHO!

Me: Goodbye. No seriously, I need to study.

After I hang up, I see Piku giving me a funny look. Defensive, I ask- "Do you even know who that was?"

Piku: DUH. Priya. You said her name out loud TWICE.

Me: Oh! Wow... I'm not at all secretive, am I?

Piku: Why should you be secretive about PRIYA'S NAME?

Me: Oh you never know... people of our generation don't like telling the truth.

Piku: Are you quite alright?

Me: ALRIGHT? HOW CAN I BE ALRIGHT? YOU GODDAMN GO ON TALKING! WHEN THE HELL WILL I STUDY?
Now please pass me the ipod and the blanket. I'm going to go to sleep.

You know the saddest part of it all? I did go to sleep. And continued to sleep till the sun shone too strongly for my brain to believe it was still morning.

10 beep/s:

VelocityGirl (tm) said...

DUBBY! sounds adorable.
Oh, and, I'm glad I don't call you up. I only waste your time online.

radhika said...

hahahaha wow ...this is funny...its funnier when u read it..but i think it destressed us both! but u forgot to mention "hamsing"& yesterday's conversation..remember the "cha cha dance" how i thought it was well not who YOU were talking about :P

Death On Two Legs said...

shit. the cha cha dance.
disturbing.

p.s- i have mentioned hamsing.

Prince of Mirkwood said...

i wonder how long it took you to write this...(insert smiley with the yellow face that rolls its eyes in a perfect 360 degree action(to look contemplative( i miss that a lot since there's no msn messenger here( it costs 57 bucks every 3 days to use the net here))))
(brackets rule!)

Death On Two Legs said...

NOOR. because of you, nobody will ever take my blog seriously. not that they're meant to, but the human soul does crave respect from time to time.

cry freedom said...

damn!! voice and jam together? WHY?!?!

safdar said...

so Have you ever dreamt of ______ ??!

Death On Two Legs said...

I'd sooner kiss Mamata Bannerji than tell you who ____ is.

azuria said...

@ anushka...mamata bannerji...?
could it possibly be who i think it is?
and could priya possibly be who i think she is....mind-meddling time ;)


waise, AWESOME post ;))
i fell off the chair laughing...and hit my head against the bed...but that's inconsequential...

@post : ROTFL!!

Yamini said...

ROTFL..
this is SO EVERYbody's scene :P
amazing, amazing =)