We make fun of spinsters all the time. We portray them as wrinkled, crabby, sexually-frustrated....
They often are, so I'm not asking you to spare them. My question is, why must unmarried men be spared? I say 'unmarried men', and not 'bachelors'. Men seem to throw about the bachelor-tag like it's some kind of social award.
I'm a bachelor. I am so cool- freewheeling, snazzy, unrestrained by the sordid bonds of marriage while you lesser mortals stew in used diapers.
That's the aura they emit.
Well, let me tell you, unmarried men are can be positively vile as well. As students, we were all advised to avoid creating stereotypes in our writings. But in life, it's fascinating how many stereotypes actually exist. One is the breed of unmarried uncles.
They talk in loud voices and hearty tones all the time.
They tell you of THE most embarassing thing you, or your godliest cousin did as a kid.
When they get drunk (and they seem to have rather low resistance), they aren't amusing but downright grotesque.
They have a Facebook account from which they INSIST on adding all the kids they know.
AND. The clincher. They WILL ask their neices either of the 2-
a) So.. got a boyfriend yet?
b) So... how many boyfriends have you gathered by now?
When these questions are asked in Bengali or Hindi, it is a thousand times worse. Don't ask me why. Probably for the same reason that Vernacular gaalis are more satisfying.
Dear Unmarried Uncle, or UU, let me answer your question for the first time.
IF I HAD A FREAKING BOYFRIEND, I WOULD NOT WISH TO DISCUSS HIM WITH YOU.
IF YOU HAVE A FREAKING GIRLFRIEND, DO NOT BRING HER ANYWHERE NEAR ME.